You Can't Give What you Don't Have!!!

Okay so lately I have been trying to connect with myself and really figure out "Who is Brandy Danielle McCallum". This process has been a learning experience to say the least. It all started when I met this guy who I still date/talk to and that's when I started back reading the bible and going to church. Then I went to ATL and sat and talked to my friend Ivory and she suggested I read the book "The Secret". So all of these things started building towards building a better me. Last Thursday I went to a meeting with a friend and after that we ran into a couple of guys she knew. At first I was optimistic and stayed out of the conversation, but then one of them started asking me questions and we got into a really great discussion about people and their intentions and how we should act on instinct and what our gut tells us to do. Then he said "I want to buy you these books". So the next day we went to Borders and he bought me. "10 Secrets For Success and Inner Peace" by Dr. Wayne Dryer and "Living on Purpose" by Dan Millman. I started reading the book on Aug 7th I finished chapters 4-10 yesterday afternoon. But what made me finish it was because of the fact that even though I read "The Secret", which tells you basically that if you think positive then positive things will happen and vice versa, I still had a small cloud of negativity that kept creeping back into my life. It took for me to feel like I was losing someone very special to me to realize one very important piece of information that I didn't get until yesterday afternoon as I finished the 10 rules book. That "Secret 3: You can't give away what you don't have". So I began to think about my actions and how frustrated I get sometimes and how thoughts and emotions that I thought never existed started slowly coming back. If I don't have anger, jealousy, manipulation, doubt, greed or selfishness inside me then I can't project that on other people. I can't give off what I don't have. It's as simple as someone asking borrow $10 if you honestly don't have it you can't let the person borrow it...right? We can never allow another person to be a reason for us to "step out of ourselves or act out of character" at the end of the day what you do and say negative and positive are things that were there to begin with. With all that said...my words of wisdom for the day are guard your words and examine what's in your heart. You can't gossip, hate, be jealous or anything else negative if you free yourself of those thoughts that keep you from true happiness! Reading and learning about these things has helped me and I have a ways to go, but you have to start somewhere! "The mind can allow us infinite possibilities or infinite failure, choose one"

ROI’s and Opportunity Costs/ Heart vs. Mind

Opportunity Costs: The cost of passing up the next best choice when making a decision.

Return on Investment: A measure of a corporation's
profitability

I was thinking about this on my flight...

So as much as I try to avoid looking at personal relationships as business ventures, I keep coming back to this idea of ROI's and Opportunity cost. Now to break this down what I mean by ROI is the following. Anytime we as human beings submerge ourselves into new situations whether it be meeting new people, engaging in business and entering new relationships we subconsciously ask ourselves what the return on our investment will be, we ask ourselves how emotionally, physically, spiritually profitable is this person to me. When it comes to opportunity cost that is the idea of giving up one choice for another or evaluating what you are willing to give up in order gain something else. Lately I have found myself thinking about these things a lot. Being that I have only been in one real relationship I find that I am constantly trying to figure out my ROI in potential relationships and looking at my opportunity cost. I find myself also thinking about the following idea, quote or whatever you want to call it now taking literal quality of life out of the equation and for illustration purposes; when someone is brain dead their heart can still keep the organs and body alive but if your heart stops you die. Does that mean that it is logical to over ride what would seem to be intelligent decisions with what your heart tells you to do? Meaning you can survive for some time without brain activity yet without your hard everything goes. I know this seems crazy, but I am going through a situation that defies logic meaning that I am participating in a situation that feels right as opposed to what I logically would not let myself get involved in if I hadn't let how I feel be a factor. So what do you think in regards to logic and matters of what feels right. I still am in my opportunity cost phase with people that I deal with and in what capacity I deal with them. At what point do you cut off guys/chicks that you are dealing with to completely be open to someone else? This again my friend is where opportunity cost plays a factor! There are 2 potential outcomes depending on your answer to this question. What are you willing to give up in order to gain? You have to make a choice!

Passing Admiration VS Infatuation

Let me first say I know women in general complicate things that aren't that difficult...I for one am a realist with my expectations.... enjoy


You remember when you were in like Jr High School and you send that girl/boy a note in your class that said;" do you like me? circle yes or no?". I miss the simplicity of having a crush. It never was too complicated, you either had the feelings reciprocated or you didn't and moved on to the next cute boy/girl in your class. There was no sex nothing like that to confuse a passing admiration with infatuation.

Wikipedia defines infatuation as:
Infatuation is a common emotion characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive relationship growth or development. Infatuation is distinguished by a lack of trust, loyalty, commitment, and reciprocity. In the case of infatuation, there is more often than not an obsessor and an object of desire (generally unattainable). One may come to the conclusion that, unlike love, infatuation is not usually mutual.

Websters defines infatuation as:

Main Entry:
2in·fat·u·ate Listen to the pronunciation of 2infatuate
Pronunciation:
\-ˌwāt, -ˌāt\
Function:
transitive verb
Inflected Form(s):
in·fat·u·at·ed; in·fat·u·at·ing
Etymology:
Latin infatuatus, past participle of infatuare, from in- + fatuus fatuous
Date:
1533
1 : to cause to be foolish : deprive of sound judgment 2 : to inspire with a foolish or extravagant love or admiration
— in·fat·u·a·tion Listen to the pronunciation of infatuation \-ˌfa-chə-ˈwā-shən, -chü-ˈā-\ noun

Defined it would be believed that a passing admiration and infatuation are the same thing, but to me they are completely different. See I have made a conscious effort over the past 5 years to not be in a relationship. They take too much time and emotion and too many feelings get involved.

Passing Admiration: You are attracted to an individual you share the same views or can discuss differences and you talk every once and a while like Jay-Z said "our time together is our time together and our time apart is our time apart, so love Jay with your mind girl and not your heart." Your heart is NEVER involved at least not on my end it's not. When you are away from the person you don't think abt calling them everyday, they aren't always on your mind and when you see each other it's cool, but when your apart it's business as usual.

Infatuation: You(at least one of you) sparks an instant attraction. You talk all the time always want to know/learn more about the person. You rarely question intent and your guard is down. This is something that I avoid at ALL costs because in the end infatuation is an unhealthy mis-direction of feelings. Feelings that can be focused in more productive places like blogging; creating ideas, working out LOL. IDK bottom line being in a situation that is 80/20 sucks. So I try my best not to get caught up. And in some way, shape or for one person is not completely attainable and there are barriers in the way of: lack of mutual feelings, persons involvement with someone else, distance, work...I can go on, but won't.

Then there's love which I have no comment on right now because I'll save that blog for when I feel like I'm in love...can we celebrate on that day??? LOL

Thoughts....

Dreamworld...

So I ran into this guy I met like a year ago while I was volunteering with media at an event here in Vegas. We re-connected at the event then saw one another again at the wrap party. When he saw me he invited me over to eat for Easter dinner the food was great...great conversation. When I left this song was on the radio and for some odd reason I feel like this song will always take me back to that dinner and conversation. Beautiful song listen to the words...always dream, but make your words and actions have impact in order to create and foster positive change!

Feeling it!

So first off I was able to do a little bit of Traveling along the "I Am Music" tour and looked forward to this part at all the shows I went to! Enjoy



Man my boy G~Mack put me up on this track right here.
I actually got to listen to it in the studio with G and Rock City's manager! Good Shit! Check G~Mack out over at Global Grind http://globalgrind.com/covers/gmack/

Brand New

Sooo the homey Trey Songz has a new video and I love the song/video...even though I should have been in it or at least in the A! I always miss the fun D2 Stuff! Much love! Enjoy.

Trey Songz - Brand New

Patiently Waiting

Here is my poem recited let me know what you think...