The Visitation Rule...

I’ve been gone for a minute, but now I’m slowly coming back to share my inspiration or to let people know they aren’t alone or to give another view point that you may not have considered before.  First and foremost I wanted to state that fact that the reason I haven’t really blogged to much  is because the place that my inspiration has been derived from as of late is from a very personal place and can come across as “played out”, but nevertheless I’ve realized that I can’t control where my motivation comes from it just comes lol.  So with that being said let’s get into this!

I’m working on a series in regards to Male and Female relationships and the dynamics of those interactions, the first one is called….

The Visitation Rule:

What is this rule about you may ask, but I’m sure many of you can guess by the title where I’m about to go with this and to paint the picture perfectly clear I’m going to be 100% real and divulge some very personal information.  In 2005 at the age of 21 there was a guy that I really liked.  He had tried to sleep with me for about 5 months leading up to when I finally took a trip to see him.  All the times he made his advances I denied him even though I physically was attracted to him.  So after several conversations and him telling me that sex wasn’t really that important he flew me to see him and lo and behold…we had sex.  Now in my mind even though I was physically attracted to him in the back of my mind I felt a sense of obligation to sleep with him, the outcome of the situation was he sent my ass home after treating me for 3 days and didn’t speak to me unless there was an opportunity for us to sleep together or by some chance ran into each other.  We’re still cool and speak to this day, but I learned a lot from that one situation.  Fast forward to 25 year old Brandy who lives in Las Vegas.  As you may well know Las Vegas is a transient city and the majority of men that I come across are strictly looking for a good time considering the fact that I live here, the fast life of participating in random flings is far from appealing to me.  Yet and still I have several men that I know from out of town who insist on asking me the following questions, “so when are you going to show me around Vegas”, “when can I come visit”, “so when are you going to invite me to Vegas”.  As much as I would like to be a tour guide for male friends or men seeking my attention it takes entirely too much energy and my response to those comments depending on who it is: “Don’t plan any trips out to Vegas just to see me”.  I feel like there is really only one occasion under which a man should come to Vegas and know without a shadow of a doubt that I’ll actually show you around and we do the caked up thing….and that’s if we are dating.  To put this into perspective, the only man to come to Vegas and get 95% of my attention was my ex for obvious reasons.  The reality of the situation is this, and all men are not like this, but in his mind I’m led to believe from personal/past experience that no man is flying across the country to “just chill”!  This is why I avoid male company, the only time I truly feel okay with hanging out with a guy that’s in town is if they are already coming into town and the sole purpose of their trip is not to see me, but to come to Vegas.  The reality of this is that a lot of people actually feel this way and lord knows I’m not trying to invite someone to visit me/stay with me and they end up pissed off because they thought I was joking about not wanting to have sex.  So the visitation rule is this, unless we’re working on a relationship, in a relationship, or you’re already in town for a reason unrelated to me….there is no visitation!  What do you think?